I don't get to decide what I wear.
I don't get to decide the theme colour.
I don't get to decide the kind of invitation card nor the colour nor the design of card.
I don't get to decide for any of these things that I'm blowing all my savings on.
What kind of wedding is that?
Will I even be happy?
The last time I feel this depressed was way back then in UM.
Two persons beside H that I would always call whenever I am upset - my best friend ana and my aunt in Holland.
I don't even feel like talking now let alone call them.
I'm tired...
Of arguing, of saying yes, of keeping quiet, of nodding as if i agreed.
I am so tired of having no say that the only thing I can manage right now is silence.
I can't. I just can't... Please make all these go away.
I'm wishing for a wonderland; with potions that make you shrink, with cakes that make you grow, with talking animals, with cats that can disappear, and with, maybe, even a Jabberwocky that I can slay.
I surrender, **sigh. You can have the wedding, since I won't have mine.
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