Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Things I learned after giving birth..


1) There are things such as a difficult and easy baby.
I've heard of this and acknowledged that there are such a thing I've just never imagined what "difficult" in this context really means. NOW I do. It doesn't make me love mine any less, though.


2) Tuning out what people around you say is an acquired skill
Every baby is different. And yes there are best practices for EVERYTHING, but it doesn't always work with your (read: my) baby. 


Case 1: Babies should be trained to sleep in noise, especially during the day to get them accustomed to their surroundings and so that it will not drive everyone else crazy having to tiptoe around the house. True. Agreed. Absolutely makes sense. You managed to train your baby to sleep in the noisiest environment; good for you. However, there are such things as a fussy and difficult baby, like mine, who up to the age of 2 months was spending most of her waking hour crying. She cries the moment she opens her eyes, she cries at bathtime, she cries during every diaper change. She cries at night because she is being forced to sleep when she has already had enough sleep during the day. I was surviving on toast and bananas as it is. Even the toasts i made sometimes did not make it to the stomach because she woke up right when the toaster rings. Shower means skin touching soap and water; done. You wanna talk about training her to sleep in the noise? Which would mean at least several occasion of being woken up by the noise before she actually gets used to it? That is, if she does eventually get used to it. If she doesn't it would all be a wasted effort. A wasted HUGE effort.


Case 2: Babies who cry for no reason might be crying because their name doesn't suit them and therefore should be changed. Ok, first of all if you're talking about having to change the name officially and permanently, fine. It is crazier but at least to me it makes more sense than just changing her nickname where this phase will eventually pass and we can return to calling her real name but in most cases by then the other name would have stuck. Seriously? I can accept radical measures; with supporting fact. It can be either scientific or religious. If scientific, give me the data; if religious give me proof (a.k.a Dalil). With this thing, scientifically of course there's nothing. But the ustaz at the surau my father frequents told my father that the baby's name needs to be changed. Propose a few names and he will help choose. My parents although while when we were growing up thought this is nonsense, when it came to my baby they thought it is among the things that should be tried as in, usaha. I even had one chat session with my mom saying, "...cuba dengar nasihat orang tua skali skala. Ustaz pun nasihat macam ni jugak.." I was like..ok..I'm seriously ok with all nasihat that makes sense because most of the time I know it makes sense only that I don't feel like following. Heh. ;p My problem with this one is, first and most importantly it is not mentioned in the Quran, nor any hadith, it is also not the prophet's sunnah. Even the alim ulama' differs in opinion in this matter with most of them disagreeing. Most said as long as the name doesn't have a bad meaning, it should stay. Po's name not only doesn't mean anything bad, it actually has a very good meaning. So it STAYS.


3) Even if you manage to get back into shape very quickly, if you are breastfeeding chances are you won't be able to get back into your old tops.
This one, seriously, I wish I had known before delivery. At least I could have done some shopping. I had NO idea. My sister and I, thankfully, are blessed with good genes when it comes to losing pregnancy weight. All my worries about it pre-birth quickly disappears soon after. So I thought yeay I don't have to worry about clothes, lets unpack all the boxes and bring out pre-pregnancy clothes!!! Oh how wrong I was. First, even though other areas fit, the chest part wont (breastfeeding, remember?). So I am left with a few tops that used to be worn loose; they now just about fit but ok at least they fit. Then out of those few that fits, not all are breastfeeding friendly. Some can't simply be unbuttoned or lifted, some too fancy schmancy it would even bother the baby. So I end up wearing the same couple of tops over and over again as shopping trips were out of the question in the first few months. Pants are fine by the way.


4) The ability to laugh at things is one of life's greatest gift.
For at least the first few weeks your body will look like an alien experiment gone wrong; your nipples are sore, they bleed, they hurt like hell; the breastpump plus the hands-free kit attached to your boobs make you look like you just came out of the terminator movie; and the list goes on.. Feeling good let alone sexy is not possible. But the fact that you can make jokes and laugh at yourself with your spouse, makes the whole thing more tolerable. It softens the blow.


  • S: Nipple I haritu macam kena gigit tikus, skarg what with blisters and bleeding all dah macam kena gigit beruk ni. LOL
    H: LOL. Kita bela apa kat rumah tu? LOL.
  • S: You jgn turun skarg.. I nak pump jap lagi ni, nanti dia nangis cemaner... (demo running like a chimpanzi with both hands guarding/balancing the pump attached to the breast)
    H: LOL!!! Macam tu la.. Robocop. LOL.
  • S: Bee, bee, tgk ni. Peciuw peciuw.. (*laser gun sound, hands making the shooting gesture at the breast while pumping)
    H: Ok, now you're gonna give me nightmares. Hahaha..
Those are among them. :)

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