two-five

I think I’m ready to write my birthday blog now. I’m 25. I have learned that I’m not ordinary. I have found that I’m not really as plain and ordinary as I have always thought I am. There are places that I can be more than ordinary at. When I’m at work I’m more than average. I’m good at what I do. I’ve just realized that being more than average means there’s a chance you live in a lonely world. I was ecstatic to be great at something that for quite some time I failed to notice that one of the sacrifices one has to make in order to be great is companionship. I have always held on to this : In order to achieve greatness, you must sacrifice a great deal too. But if you sacrifice moderately then you only get something mediocre in return. Little that I know the success at the end of the day won’t get to be shared with many people. It’s a lonely world that the great ones live in. I learned that not many people understand what it takes to be more than ordinary. And throughout the journey there’s a lot of explaining to do and even after the explaining not all of them will understand. Some just refuse to. That’s where you start losing the ones that matter. Not many understand that my job requires me to work long hours. The big reward has yet to come, but I’m on the right path. I will get there some day. I have full faith in that. But in order to get there, I have to spend a lot of my time on work, which means less time for friends and family and even the significant other. I don’t do those jobs that a lot of other people do where they go to work and back without much meaning nor satisfaction. The aim is the paycheck at the end of each month. Well, its not that I don’t care about the money that goes into my account, I just have other goals that are as important as the money that comes with it. Matters that come into account when deciding about life. Its difficult telling people I spend all those hours at work because I’m passionate about it. And that most of the time, I don’t mind the hours I have to spend on it. That there’s a part of me that is a little bit smug about having to go to work at 2am in the morning because it indicates my importance regarding the job. There is something fulfilling about completing my job a certain way with the certain quality. Being 25, I have also learned that being smart comes with a cost. You will be the source of envy of your colleagues. That the fact that you can come up with a solution to problems faster and better than the others means you are regarded by your superiors better, but there will always be at your workplace who refuse to acknowledge that, and they prefer to believe you’re in a better position simply because you were just picked to be the favourite. I earned my way there. I wasn’t placed at the top for no reason. I did my job well, therefore I gained the attention and respect from my superiors. So… is it my fault I was born smart?