two-seven

Wow.. twenty-sevennnnn!!! That's a big number. Huh. I'm not sure if I like being closer to thirty. But then, if i'm not 27, I wouldn't be here, enjoying the joys that life has rewarded me. If I were 24 or 25, I'd still be struggling to make ends meet every month, drooling every time I visit the mall because I can't afford anything I like. So I guess 27 is not that bad after all.

Well, as usual, the ritual....birthday blog. :)

So lets see... what have i learned for the past one year...

First and foremost, unconditional love, is hard. It tears you apart, break you, and wear you out. It's tough to keep it going. But having it is a blessing.

Well, I'm not sure if I have grown up since one year ago. If you were to ask H, he'd probably say no. Hell, he'd probably even say I haven't grown at all in the last 5 years. Well, I'm fine with that. You know what, when you love someone that much, it's fine he he says things like that. If you don't like it, you fight, if you can tolerate you ignore, and if you can look at it the funny way, you laugh. We fight like cats and dogs nowadays. Oh well, that's what relationship is about right? Fighting. ;)

Anyway, next year will bring something new to my life. I'm still not sure how I feel about it. I'll discuss that when I'm ready.

One thing I do know for sure, buying home appliances makes me feel like a grown up. :) I haven't really been able to afford things for my house much in the past, given my salary was barely enough to feed both myself and my car. So now that I finally have the ability to do it, I can't stop. It is highly fatal to let me loose in IKEA without supervision. It is hazardous to my purse. And now that we've grown older, whenever H accompanies me to my IKEA trip, people would look at us like we're newlyweds. I think that's cute. Hehe.. ;p

Oh, I started cooking!! By that I discovered that I love making chinese stir-fries. So that's my second favourite after baking. Oh, and I see a new oven and mixer making it's way to my house. I can already smell the aroma of cupcakes and cookies wafting in the air, filling up the house with that vanilla scent.. Oooh.. Hahaaa.. H would shake his head and say, apa lagi you beli ni sayang... Beli oven la darling, how else am I suppose to bake without an oven??! Hehe.. But he's so supportive of my cooking, he 'belanja' me a wok last week. :) Thanks honey. That means more chinese cooking for you. ;)

Aaand... That's all for now. I have a feeling there will be a second entry on "being 27". So I guess I'll be writing again soon.

Til then, Happy birthday Sarah!!!

lil cuzzens

While driving a few days ago, I was suddenly reminiscing my babysitting days back when i was still in school and in college. Being the second eldest among us cousins, I ended up babysitting a lot. Mostly for my aunt in Rawang.

The first one was Qish. I just entered form 4 when she was born, and I missed her birth because I was staying in the hostel. I managed to get kicked out of the hostel (much to my delight) the following year, so I was appointed the official babysitter around the time she turned 1. She was the smartest toddler on earth! She was sharp, observant, and funny. She learned to walk fast, and learned to talk just as fast. Before i knew it, she was already completing full sentences. On her third birthday, Qish said, "I am 3 years old today." And when she was 5, she went for a vacation, came back and described Madurodam to us, citing it was her favourite place of all, second to Disneyland of course. One particular memory stood out, it was raining that evening, Qish was about 1 1/2 years old. She was having trouble sleeping and was already grumpy. She wasn't the type who complains a lot but i guess the sound of the rain was disturbing. I held her, and as the rain was getting lighter, I carried her to the porch, swinging lightly until she finally fell asleep in my arms. That moment, I wished I could freeze time, and let her be in her peaceful sleep forever..

Then came Iman. I was already in UM. My aunt is not able to deliver her babies the normal way, all her 3 children was delivered by C-section. She had the date picked out in advance, so we had all anticipated it. I remember I had a viva for my programming paper that morning, and I rushed to the hospital as soon as we were done. She was cute and tiny, barely opening her eyes.. We took turns to hold her. My youngest aunt still has a video of 2-days-old Iman in her phone. A few months later i started my industrial training somewhere very close to my aunt's house so I stayed with her the whole 3 and a half months. Iman was about 2 months old when I started. Again, I was the babysitter. Changing her diapers, feeeding her, bathing her, just like i did with Qish. I'd stay up and keep my aunt and uncle company when she was down with a fever, taking turns to hold her so that each could catch some sleep. When industrial training ended I could barely go more than 2 weeks without seeing Iman and Qish. I'd miss them so much, I'd just hop on the komuter straight to Rawang, and my uncle would fetch me at the station and I'll spend my weekend there. One time Iman was hospitalized and she only wanted me to hold her. I was in the middle of midterms so I couldn't stay. It broke my heart in two when I had to leave that night, she was crying and she didn't want to let me go.

Aidan's story is a little bit different. I played with him as much as I did Iman and Qish but I didn't get to do so much babysitting. My aunt and uncle started hiring a maid after Aidan was born. 3 is a wee but too much to handle on their own. Those 3 can really wreak havoc. Anyway, Aidan was always clutching to the bibik, although whenever they came to our house, bath time with kak sarah is always those two kids' favourite. Iman and Aidan would request bubbles and songs and we'd spend ages in the bathroom singing Baa baa black sheep and blowing bubbles. Their laughter still rings in my ears.

Qish and Iman, are like chalk and cheese. Qish is more reserved, preferring to observe in silence. Her observance serves her well. She has become a very smart kid, with a great sense of humour. Her blog never fails to crack me up in the middle of the night. Iman is the free-spirited one. Carefree and fun. You can see that she has confidence in her. She's loud, always laughing, unlike her sister. Aidan is usually her target. She's the boss and orders him around. It's really fun to watch. And I love them all very dearly. Well, I wouldn't deny they do get on my nerves from time to time.

With all of them, I watched them grow. I watched each phase of their childhood. I watched as they learn to walk, as they learn to speak.. I watched as they learn each of our name until they got it right. We would ask them over and over again who this is, and who that is. Those whose names that they got right would beam with pride. I watched as they learn to hold the pencil and draw their first fish and stars. And when the time comes, they will no longer want to sit in my lap as they used to. They prefer doing things on their own. That was always the toughest part. We'd watch cartoons and instead of coming right to sit in my lap, they'll choose their own seat. "They're growing up, this is part of it", I'd say to myself with a heavy sigh. And the time comes when they no longer want me to draw for them, they want to draw on their own and then show it to me. It was difficult to keep my hands on my sides while they struggle with a toy, when they were trying so hard to prove that they can do it. Me helping would crush that spirit. Sometimes when I just couldn't help myself, I'd try to help, and I'll be brushed off with sentences like, "Iman pandai kak sarah, Iman dah besar." or "Aidan tauuuu.." When Qish first learned alphabets, I would tirelessly tease her with "B for Balqish!" knowing that she would counter with "A for Aqish la kak sarahh.." hehe.. and the argument would continue until she gives up and with me laughing aloud. I remember having to bite my tongue when they struggle with re-counting the things they've just learned. From numbers 1 to 10, to the 7 days of the week.

Words can't describe how much I love them, and the memories of them growing up will stay with me forever..