Aku frust, bila bercakap tentang daycare Po, semuanya akan berbalik pada - "mahal". Hal aku mandikan Po pagi-pagi sebelum hantar pasti, without fail, akan berbalik pada issue mahal.
Comments/remark/respond:
Comments/remark/respond:
"Bayar mahal-mahal pun kena mandikan pagi ke?"
"Ieee caj mahal-mahal pun pagi kena mandikan sendiri"
"Tu la.. nursery mahal mcm mana pun.. sama je" (with regards to mandi jugak lah)
The thing is, aku bukan bagi tahu pukul canang pada semua orang. Orang yang tanya.
Q: Pagi-pagi diorang mandikan la eh?
A: Oh tak sarah mandikan dulu sebelum hantar..
"Ieee caj mahal-mahal pun pagi kena mandikan sendiri"
"Tu la.. nursery mahal mcm mana pun.. sama je" (with regards to mandi jugak lah)
The thing is, aku bukan bagi tahu pukul canang pada semua orang. Orang yang tanya.
Q: Pagi-pagi diorang mandikan la eh?
A: Oh tak sarah mandikan dulu sebelum hantar..
Q: Pagi mandi kat rumah? Kenapa mandikan? Diorang tak mandikan ke?
A: Ok je penah je hantar tak mandi tapi dorg mandikan lain la.. Cepat2..so dia nangis.. Sebab biasa ibu dia mandikan lembut-lembut, sembang nyanyi-nyanyi.. Dia happy.. Kat daycare diorang banyak lagi keje lain, baby lain lagi nak mandi tak dan la nak leisure2 mcm tu.. (which i completely understand btw)
A: Ok je penah je hantar tak mandi tapi dorg mandikan lain la.. Cepat2..so dia nangis.. Sebab biasa ibu dia mandikan lembut-lembut, sembang nyanyi-nyanyi.. Dia happy.. Kat daycare diorang banyak lagi keje lain, baby lain lagi nak mandi tak dan la nak leisure2 mcm tu.. (which i completely understand btw)
Selepas soalan-soalan begini akan keluarlah statement-statement seperti di atas tu.
Why? Kenapa perlu judge? Kenapa perlu question?
Why? Kenapa perlu judge? Kenapa perlu question?
It's funny nobody ever asked if I chose to bathe her, everybody just assumed I had to, and it is a burden.
Jawapan yang paling jujur adalah - I bathe her every single morning because I really treasure those moments. And it makes leaving her a tiny bit easier, knowing that she's had an enjoyable bathtime with ibu, followed by a feeding session that she latched directly and in those moments the world is a warm and safe place and she's happy. Before she had to face reality - that she has to stay at the daycare for the rest of the day because ibu has to go to work. I don't get much time with her during the week, that morning bath is the only time we get to spend quality time together and I'd like to do that as much as I possibly can, as long as I can.
Mungkin akan datang masanya where I just cannot afford to do it anymore - no time, too tired, too busy, etc. So while I still can, I will try my best to do it.
Or even if I will always have the time to do it, akan sampai satu masa I will not be able to - because come one day I will need to slowly let her grow up. She needs to learn to do things on her own and at that time it will be selfish for me to keep doing things for her, for i will not be around forever and she needs to learn to be independent, for her own sake, for her own future, to prepare for harsh real life.
But i cannot simply give this answer, sebab even though I couldn't care less whether or not other people bathe their kids, with this answer ada orang yang akan terasa I'm implying that they don't treasure time with their kids as much as I do. So I refrain myself from telling people.
So at the end of the day, I get judged, and I am also the one who has to be careful with my words not to hurt other people's feelings. Most of the time I just smile and try to walk away as quickly as possible.
Memang betul, hantar anak ke daycare mahal macam mana pun macam tu jugak treatment. Setuju.
Tapi it goes back to the reason of sending your child to such places. Perlu faham hantar ke tempat yang mahal itu doesn't mean the child gets the same care as he or she does at home or with other family members. Pasti lain. Orang asing jaga, dah tentu lain dari parents sendiri atau atuk/nenek/makcik pakcik sendiri yang jaga. Stranger yang dibayar upah compared to darah daging sendiri. It's a no brainer - of course lain. Harus realistic dengan expectation. Mereka dibayar mahal bukan sebagai replacement kepada parents. However, with such daycare, I do not have to worry about them tak menang tangan- sebab ratio caregiver to kids memang di jaga. I don't worry about them tinggalkan baby yang kecik and helpless sorang-sorang sendal botol susu dgn bantal. They are qualified, some are nurses yang tahu first aid. Aku tak risau bila dia sakit and perlu diberi ubat, because the nurses know how to administer medication for infants. Pesan saja ada ubat. Mereka boleh baca instruction and label. Tak risau salah administer ubat, tak risau salah dosage. Memanglah orang yang jaga budak dekat rumah pun bukan buta huruf, but to me, tak sama dgn orang2 yg qualified. Plus my child is there 5 days a week, morning to evening, 2 hari di rumah tak cukup untuk ajar dia macam2 and keep up with her development milestones and these people can take over that task with their early childhood development qualification; dan bukan pekerja asing, immigrants buta huruf yang menjaga.
On top of that they have a rule, sick kids cannot be sent. Parents perlu cuti or make other arrangements. Memang inconvenient bila anak kita yang sakit, but we are also at ease knowing that when other kids are sick, anak kita tak akan tak tentu pasal berjangkit. That is a fair arrangment in my opinion. Unlike some other places memang accept all the time sick or healthy, parents senang tak perlu ambik cuti tinggalkan kerja, tapi budak2 lain macam mana? Yang sakit tu quarantine pun tak. Habis berjangkit. For me I would rather have to take EL every few months dari have my child sakit every month sebab asik je berjangkit.
Juga perlu faham apa sebab hantar di tempat yang mahal tu, bukan sebab trend, bukan sebab gah cerita dgn orang "Anak i daycare RMxxx sebulan"- tak pernah willingly offer that information kalau orang tak minta, and mahal bukan simply suka-suka letak harga- I do believe the price is justified, hantar di situ sebab like all parents I want the best for my child. I do everything to the best of my ability, the most that I can afford. Semua parents macam tu kan? Jadi tak payah la judge, tak perlu la bagi cynical comments.
Memang betul ada tempat jauh lebih murah, tapi bila anak sakit je setiap bulan, berbaloikah? Yang jadi di putrajaya recently, 30++ kids dgn 2 orang penjaga sahaja, baby meninggal di taksa.. Bila anak dah tiada, berbaloikah? For some, itu lah kadar kemampuannya. Nak buat macam mana, itulah yang terbaik they can afford. For me, inilah yg terbaik that I can afford. If i chose to go with a cheaper place, tapi jadi apa-apa, ralat nanti sampai bila-bila. Quality penjagaan macam mana? Diaper ditukar ikut waktu ke tidak, atau baby berak di biarkan berjam-jam dalam diaper kotor tu? Sekurang-kurangnya tempat Po duduk ni ada written record - pukul berapa salin, pukul berapa susu, bila mandi. In our current situation, so far alhamdulillah ok, but if anything were to happen at least I know I have given her the best that I could, chosen for her the best place I can afford, place her with the best people I can find, short of quitting my job and taking care of her myself.
Hearing these kind of comments even after Po has been going to that daycare for 3 months made me feel so dejected. I was like, *sigh..Tak habis-habis lagi ke hal harga daycare Po ni? Sampai bila nak kena endure remark-remark macam ni..?
Those who have family members to care for their child, those who manage to find trustable people to take care of their child with way cheaper charges, good for you. Bersyukurlah anda tak perlu allocate banyak-banyak budget monthly untuk daycare. But for us the less fortunate, yang tak ada pilihan lain melainkan serahkan tanggungjawab itu pada strangers, kami terpaksa pilih what we believe is the best and if that means paying an expensive fee we force ourselves to fork that money out.
So at the end of the day, I get judged, and I am also the one who has to be careful with my words not to hurt other people's feelings. Most of the time I just smile and try to walk away as quickly as possible.
Memang betul, hantar anak ke daycare mahal macam mana pun macam tu jugak treatment. Setuju.
Tapi it goes back to the reason of sending your child to such places. Perlu faham hantar ke tempat yang mahal itu doesn't mean the child gets the same care as he or she does at home or with other family members. Pasti lain. Orang asing jaga, dah tentu lain dari parents sendiri atau atuk/nenek/makcik pakcik sendiri yang jaga. Stranger yang dibayar upah compared to darah daging sendiri. It's a no brainer - of course lain. Harus realistic dengan expectation. Mereka dibayar mahal bukan sebagai replacement kepada parents. However, with such daycare, I do not have to worry about them tak menang tangan- sebab ratio caregiver to kids memang di jaga. I don't worry about them tinggalkan baby yang kecik and helpless sorang-sorang sendal botol susu dgn bantal. They are qualified, some are nurses yang tahu first aid. Aku tak risau bila dia sakit and perlu diberi ubat, because the nurses know how to administer medication for infants. Pesan saja ada ubat. Mereka boleh baca instruction and label. Tak risau salah administer ubat, tak risau salah dosage. Memanglah orang yang jaga budak dekat rumah pun bukan buta huruf, but to me, tak sama dgn orang2 yg qualified. Plus my child is there 5 days a week, morning to evening, 2 hari di rumah tak cukup untuk ajar dia macam2 and keep up with her development milestones and these people can take over that task with their early childhood development qualification; dan bukan pekerja asing, immigrants buta huruf yang menjaga.
On top of that they have a rule, sick kids cannot be sent. Parents perlu cuti or make other arrangements. Memang inconvenient bila anak kita yang sakit, but we are also at ease knowing that when other kids are sick, anak kita tak akan tak tentu pasal berjangkit. That is a fair arrangment in my opinion. Unlike some other places memang accept all the time sick or healthy, parents senang tak perlu ambik cuti tinggalkan kerja, tapi budak2 lain macam mana? Yang sakit tu quarantine pun tak. Habis berjangkit. For me I would rather have to take EL every few months dari have my child sakit every month sebab asik je berjangkit.
Juga perlu faham apa sebab hantar di tempat yang mahal tu, bukan sebab trend, bukan sebab gah cerita dgn orang "Anak i daycare RMxxx sebulan"- tak pernah willingly offer that information kalau orang tak minta, and mahal bukan simply suka-suka letak harga- I do believe the price is justified, hantar di situ sebab like all parents I want the best for my child. I do everything to the best of my ability, the most that I can afford. Semua parents macam tu kan? Jadi tak payah la judge, tak perlu la bagi cynical comments.
Memang betul ada tempat jauh lebih murah, tapi bila anak sakit je setiap bulan, berbaloikah? Yang jadi di putrajaya recently, 30++ kids dgn 2 orang penjaga sahaja, baby meninggal di taksa.. Bila anak dah tiada, berbaloikah? For some, itu lah kadar kemampuannya. Nak buat macam mana, itulah yang terbaik they can afford. For me, inilah yg terbaik that I can afford. If i chose to go with a cheaper place, tapi jadi apa-apa, ralat nanti sampai bila-bila. Quality penjagaan macam mana? Diaper ditukar ikut waktu ke tidak, atau baby berak di biarkan berjam-jam dalam diaper kotor tu? Sekurang-kurangnya tempat Po duduk ni ada written record - pukul berapa salin, pukul berapa susu, bila mandi. In our current situation, so far alhamdulillah ok, but if anything were to happen at least I know I have given her the best that I could, chosen for her the best place I can afford, place her with the best people I can find, short of quitting my job and taking care of her myself.
Hearing these kind of comments even after Po has been going to that daycare for 3 months made me feel so dejected. I was like, *sigh..Tak habis-habis lagi ke hal harga daycare Po ni? Sampai bila nak kena endure remark-remark macam ni..?
Those who have family members to care for their child, those who manage to find trustable people to take care of their child with way cheaper charges, good for you. Bersyukurlah anda tak perlu allocate banyak-banyak budget monthly untuk daycare. But for us the less fortunate, yang tak ada pilihan lain melainkan serahkan tanggungjawab itu pada strangers, kami terpaksa pilih what we believe is the best and if that means paying an expensive fee we force ourselves to fork that money out.
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