Jiwaku kacau...
First, from missing H very badly. Spent 1 whole week in Kota Bharu and came back to start working immediately. No time to spend with H. For some reason sekarang dah tak boleh jauh2 lama2. Dulu pegi Holland bulan2 rilek je. Siap nak duduk situ 3 tahun lagi. Skill hidup sorg2 semakin mengurang. Kalau sekarang kena duduk Holland sorg2 lama2.. hmm.. Macam tak berapa cekal je..
Second, from 24/7 driving myself crazy weighing all options between staying at my current job, or moving on to the ridiculously $$$$$ tempting offer. Tapi nanti tak happy dan miserable akan buat H miserable juga di rumah hari2 kena dgr my whining and complaining. Plus tiap2 pagi juga mungkin menyumpah seranah tak suka kerja. Haih...
Third, from being utterly pissed and annoyed with someone but cannot let it out. Only very selected few know my issues. And those few, are getting tired of my rants. *difficult.
Fourth, from being very very exhausted working on shifts.. Night shifts are a real challenge now. I used to really appreciate this routine. No unexpected order from bosses to work on off days, be it weekends or public holidays, no extra work to bring home, no extra worrying the moment I leave the office... But of course, those perks come with a price- missing family events, missing hari raya celebrations, missing family vacations, missing weekends with H.. Now I'm getting tired of this shift routine. I wanna go back to normal working hours... but that means i might have to work extra hours, probably even on some weekends, bring home work..etc.. *sigh...
Fifth, from going over details of the wedding, trying to cut the expenses here and there and realizing I did that months ago that there's not much room to cut anymore. And yet I still go through the budget list over and over again hoping I will miraculously find something or somewhere to cut. Not much luck so far, of course.
Sangat tertekan. Besok H janji lunch sama2. I have to force myself to wake up even though I'm working on night shift tonight. I need that time with H. It will at the very least soothe some of these craziness in my life right now. *sigh...
First, from missing H very badly. Spent 1 whole week in Kota Bharu and came back to start working immediately. No time to spend with H. For some reason sekarang dah tak boleh jauh2 lama2. Dulu pegi Holland bulan2 rilek je. Siap nak duduk situ 3 tahun lagi. Skill hidup sorg2 semakin mengurang. Kalau sekarang kena duduk Holland sorg2 lama2.. hmm.. Macam tak berapa cekal je..
Second, from 24/7 driving myself crazy weighing all options between staying at my current job, or moving on to the ridiculously $$$$$ tempting offer. Tapi nanti tak happy dan miserable akan buat H miserable juga di rumah hari2 kena dgr my whining and complaining. Plus tiap2 pagi juga mungkin menyumpah seranah tak suka kerja. Haih...
Third, from being utterly pissed and annoyed with someone but cannot let it out. Only very selected few know my issues. And those few, are getting tired of my rants. *difficult.
Fourth, from being very very exhausted working on shifts.. Night shifts are a real challenge now. I used to really appreciate this routine. No unexpected order from bosses to work on off days, be it weekends or public holidays, no extra work to bring home, no extra worrying the moment I leave the office... But of course, those perks come with a price- missing family events, missing hari raya celebrations, missing family vacations, missing weekends with H.. Now I'm getting tired of this shift routine. I wanna go back to normal working hours... but that means i might have to work extra hours, probably even on some weekends, bring home work..etc.. *sigh...
Fifth, from going over details of the wedding, trying to cut the expenses here and there and realizing I did that months ago that there's not much room to cut anymore. And yet I still go through the budget list over and over again hoping I will miraculously find something or somewhere to cut. Not much luck so far, of course.
Sangat tertekan. Besok H janji lunch sama2. I have to force myself to wake up even though I'm working on night shift tonight. I need that time with H. It will at the very least soothe some of these craziness in my life right now. *sigh...
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