1818

About 5 years ago... I was still in UM. Still struggling... Literally struggling. I think I've mentioned before that I'm not among the smart ones who goes to UM. I really did struggle to pass my papers. Studying while I was recovering from a bad breakup. Looking back, a small part of me wished I hadn't spent so much energy on that, because what I was going to get is so much better. But of course, how was I supposed to know that?? I think I stopped crying after about one and a half years. I hated myself everytime I shed tears for that guy because I know how pathetic it is to cry over someone who clearly states he doesn't want you anymore. I did everything I could think of to get over him. I dated other guys, many guys, I went clubbing, I joined more sports team, I went for tournaments, I traveled to visit my friends during my semester break, I babysat my little cousins.. I filled my free time as much as possible. But in the silence of the night, the tears still come. I think.. after some time, it wasn't so much about him anymore. At first, yes, it is hard to let go of someone you love. But after that part is over, I guess the thing that kept pulling me down was the loneliness. Especially when you're pretty close to your partner while the relationship lasted. So when it ended, it leaves this big gap, or hole in your heart. Anyway, that was that. So about 5 years ago, I was this girl, UM student, single. So any kind of activity that involves my friends, I would usually attend. As mentioned earlier, I kept myself occupied as much as possible. By then I have almost completely recovered from the break up. Not having the ex-bf in my life does not bother me so much anymore, but the loneliness does. By then, I have actually stopped trying to find a bf, after several uninteresting attempts. A good friend told me, "Good things come when you least expect it." I believed her, but waiting for something with no arrival date was an agony. She kept saying, "Be patient.." And needless to say, she was right. After I have given up searching, after I have managed to convince myself I am better off single, someone from the past showed up. Out of the blue, this person bumped into me at 12th College, stared at me with that hey-I-know-you-from-somewhere look on his face, smiled at me, and ask for my yahoo id. I didn't expect anything at first. He was just an old schoolmate. Then on ym he asked me out to breakfast. That was when it started to become something exciting. After the breakfast date, the butterflies in the stomach jumps like crazy whenever he texts. If I had known God was going to send me this guy, I would have told myself not to cry at all when the ex left, for the replacement is so much better than I could ever imagine. But then again, if I had not shed so much tears for that one, would I even appreciate the new one when he came along? Ok, I'm not going to waste my time wondering. I am glad everything has happened the way it did. It shaped me to become the person I am today. When we met, it couldn't have been a better time. And exactly 5 years minus 7 days ago, I officially became his gf. To this day, I still remain that title. And in 7 days, we will celebrate our 5th anniversary. I can already see Year 6 holding an exciting journey for both of us. 5 years and counting.. Not bad, huh? *wink. :)



[(365 days X 5) = 1825] - 7 = 1818 days



.